A few years ago when I was in Yoga Teacher Training, one of the Yogi’s gave our class an exercise to do that really changed my life. He had each of us sit across from another student (a virtual stranger) and asked us look deeply into the other persons eyes. Not stare … simply look, we were allowed to blink, fidget or itch ourselves, etc. The only two rules were:
- We couldn’t speak
- We needed to look gently and deeply into each others eyes.
OMGoddess! I cannot tell you how HARD this was for me. I felt immensely uncomfortable; not only for me but for the other person too. It was too much. Too intimate and quite frankly … I just could NOT deal with it!
My eyes kept wanting to divert the other persons eyes, we began to giggle uncomfortably, and I became very self-conscious and guarded.
CRAP…
Our teacher persisted … he asked us to stay with the practice, shake off our initial reaction to bail, and try again … and again … and again, changing partners until we could sit without freaking out.
WOW, that practice blew me away … I realized how essential it is to connect on a soul level with others. I remember thinking that I can (very naturally and comfortably) connect and look deeply into a newborn baby’s eyes, or a child’s eyes or an animal/fur baby’s eyes … no prob.
My difficulty with eye connection was with other adults; my peers, strangers, acquaintances, etc.
I realized that my avoiding long eye contact with others was fear… my fear of being open and vulnerable + fear of rejection and judgement…
WHOA. I immediately started making Eye Gazing a daily practice.
Eye Gaze: An individual’s eye contact with another individual or with an object. Eye contact is a nonverbal form of communication. The eyes are the “windows to the soul.” When we gaze deeply into the eyes of another person, we can see beyond their physical body and personality into their essence. The practice of eye gazing is an ancient practice found in both Hindu and Buddhist Tantra as well as in the Sufi tradition. This practice is considered to be a path to enlightenment. It is a wonderful way to connect at the soul level.
These days I can’t stop trying to make eye contact when I speak. It has added a whole nother facet to my communication skills and has strengthened my bonds with my children, my husband and with the people around me – what a gift! Take a look at the photo I chose for this article. That photo was taken of me on my birthday back in 2009 by my daughter Chelsea. I absolutely LOVE this photo, not because I look so ravishing *giggle*, but because my eyes show authentic connection + the pure love, peace, openness and surrender I was feeling that day with my babies and husband.
A soul-to-soul connection via the eyes is such a beautiful and magical practice. One of the profound ways I support my private clients is by looking into their eyes and staying present with them as they experience the joy of breakthroughs, talk about immensely painful experiences they’ve endured, cry and laugh. Being fully present + connecting with them so authentically is such a blessing to me; as a woman, as a mentor, and as a healer… I get teary-eyed just writing about it.
Once I was taught this sacred practice, I took notice that my husband Mike had a very hard time looking into my eyes when we spoke … his tendency was to look at me for a split second (if I was lucky) then look away; look up, down or pick something up to focus on. It really started to bother me, I began to feel very disconnected from him … I mean …I especially craved a soul connection with him; he’s my lover and life partner. I started talking about it with Mike. I let him know how important it is for me to feel a deep, authentic and intimate connection to him. We’ve both been working on eye gazing for a few years now, and I’m happy to report that Mike has become conscious and mindful about connecting eye-to-eye and soul-to-soul with me when we talk and when we make love. It has improved our relationship and deepened our connection.
I’ve made it a personal daily practice to stay present to my life as much as possible. This simple, magical practice can be very hard to do. It reminds me of an old saying; simple need not imply easy.
The Practice Of Eye Gazing Can Help Improve:
- Your relationships
- Intimacy with your partner
- Intimacy with the divine and the world around you
- Your bonds with others
- Your communication
- Your level of understanding + compassion (for yourself and others)
Ask yourself:
Do I look into other people’s eyes when conversing with them?
If not, why? Does it make me feel uncomfortable, vulnerable or naked? Something else?
How would my relationships improve if I became more authentic and open to truth?
Am I afraid that if people saw the real me, they wouldn’t love me?
Am I afraid to open myself up completely because I’ll get hurt or be rejected?
*The first step is becoming mindful of when you’re not looking at the person you’re engaging in conversation with. Then as you divert your eyes somewhere else … bring them back. Overtime connecting eye-to-eye will become a habit and your new normal.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about Eye Gazing below!
The post Eye Gazing: The Eyes Are The Window To The Soul appeared first on Goddess Life Coaching, Life Magick Mentor, Women's Empowerment Coach - The Goddess Lifestyle Plan.